


I Hope and Pray I Will Always Be Enough For You

by danrdarrenc



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:07:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2226789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danrdarrenc/pseuds/danrdarrenc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four times Will still felt he was not good enough for Sonny and one time Sonny felt he wasn't good enough for Will.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hope and Pray I Will Always Be Enough For You

Since before they even started dating, Will’s always felt like he’s not good enough for Sonny. They both know that. Up until they got married, Sonny continued to ensure Will that his insecurities were silly, that he was exactly where he wanted to be, and that he loved Will more than life itself.

After they became husbands, Will slowly pushed aside his feelings that Sonny deserved better than him. He knew Sonny wasn’t the type of person to just marry someone if he didn’t want to be married to them.

So, over the years, Will gradually came to be secure with himself and accept that he was more than adequate enough to have Kiriakis attached to the end of his name. Nevertheless, every once in a while throughout their marriage, Will’s insecurities bubbled up to the surface and made him occasionally feel once again that Sonny was too good for him and Sonny was always there to assure him he was.

* * * * * * * * * *

1) The first time Will’s old not-good-enough feelings come roaring back is just after Arianna turns five. His first real novel is published and his excitement lasts for two months until he gets a letter from his publisher. Apparently, his book hasn’t sold as well as they had expected it to sell and the stores have excess inventory; there aren’t going to be any more orders. His book has been a flop.

The day he opens the letter Sonny comes bouncing into the apartment, a huge smile on his face, to announce that his sixth Club TBD is opening, this time in the center of Los Angeles. There are already branches in Chicago, Philadelphia, New York, and Miami, besides the original one in Salem.

He’s excited and happy for his husband, but something on his face must contradict the words he’s saying because Sonny immediately asks him what’s wrong. When Will shows him the publisher’s letter and mumbles that he’s feeling inadequate, that he’s a failure, Sonny simply hugs him tight. 

Later that night, when they’re snuggled together in bed, Sonny’s chest pressed to Will’s back and his arm draped over Will’s waist, Sonny assures him for the first time in over four years that he wouldn’t be there unless he wanted to be. He brushes his lips over Will’s cheek in a light kiss and, comforted by the presence of his husband’s arms around him, Will falls into a peaceful sleep, his insecurities dormant once again.

* * * * * * * * * * *

2) The summer after Ari turns twelve Will gets a call from Uncle Bo overseas, still undercover in the ISA, that Sami’s been apprehended for murder. She’d left Salem over a decade ago, when she found out about EJ’s affair and almost-pregnancy with Abigail, and she never returned. He’s talked to her over the years, on the phone and via Skype when she wanted to see her granddaughter, but he could never convince her to come back home.

So when he hangs up the phone after listening to Bo explain the situation (which sounds like every other murder situation Sami has ever been involved in), he sighs and buries his face in his hands. Words that Adrienne said, long ago before he and Sonny were even a couple, echo in his mind, as he thinks of his mother and her penchant for getting herself into trouble with the law. 

When Sonny gets home from work later that night, Will tells him what happened and casually mentions that maybe even after all these years Adrienne was right. He’s got so much baggage that won’t go away (“It keeps getting bigger!”) and someone as successful as Sonny shouldn’t have to deal with it. Sonny just sits there next to him, his lips trembling in his attempt to not laugh, and repeats what he hasn’t needed to repeat in years: he’s a Kiriakis and his family has just as much drama as Will’s does and that there’s no place he would rather be than with Will in the life they’ve created together. Will smiles and tells him he knows. 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

3) When they climb into bed after coming home from Johnny’s law school graduation, Will is exceptionally quiet. When Sonny asks why, Will sighs and rubs his eyes before he explains.

"My little brother just graduated from Northwestern Law School and he’s going on to work at a big firm in Chicago and he’s just barely twenty-five. I feel so unaccomplished. I mean, I had a kid at twenty and just managed to get my college diploma from Salem U."

"And you don’t think Arianna’s an accomplishment?" Sonny asks, though not unkindly.

"No, I do. She’s my proudest accomplishment. I guess, I don’t know. I don’t - it’s not like I feel stuck here. I just. I can’t really explain it. I just feel like I should have more to show for my life than a teenage pregnancy and a couple not-so-successful books. You deserve better than that."

"Oh no. Don’t you start that again," Sonny reprimands and pokes him in the chest. "Do you really think I care that you didn’t go to law school or that your books didn’t sell quite as well as you’d hoped? Come on, you know me better than that."

"Yeah." Will smiles and leans his head on Sonny’s shoulder. "I’m sorry. I’m trying to get better with this but the feelings, they’re always there just waiting to surface."

"I know. But I love you for who you are. Always have. Always will." Sonny kisses the top of his hair. Will closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep a minute later, his mouth curled up into a little smile.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

4) A year later, when Arianna gets her acceptance letter from Harvard University, Will is incredibly proud of his little girl. They run around town telling their families and then he and Sonny take her out to dinner.

It’s not until she’s out at a dance club with her friends on the other side of Salem and he and Sonny are alone in the apartment, that Will starts to feel those old feelings in inadequacy creep back up. He’s not jealous of his daughter, per se; just feeling a bit overshadowed again. 

Sonny notices the frown that appears on his face and before Will can even say anything, Sonny says, “You’re doing it again.” His husband knows him better than he knows himself sometimes. Will just blinks at him and blushes slightly (even though he’s nearly forty and in no way should he blush anymore). “You have nothing to be insecure about, Will.”

Will bites his lip and leans into Sonny’s side. “I know. It’s just, I’ve written four books now and none have done what I hoped they would,” he pouts. 

"So what? Do you know how incredible it is to have four novels published, whether or not they become phenomenons like Harry Potter? That’s amazing. You should be proud. I know I am.” Will grins as his heart flutters. (Still, after eighteen years of marriage, twenty years of being together, Sonny still gets his heart beating fast and his stomach flitting with butterflies.) He knows Sonny’s right. He’s being stupid.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

\+ 1) As it turns out, Will isn’t as terrible an author as he believes he is. A month after his fifth book is published, copies begin flying off the shelves. By the end of the second month, they’ve restocked bookstores all across the country five times and Will’s publisher is setting him up to do signings. In the middle of the book tour, they’re notified that Lionsgate Productions wants the rights to his book to make a movie. 

Will is on the phone non-stop for weeks, with lawyers, his publisher, agents from Lionsgate, setting up meetings, working out contract terms, setting things in motion for a film adaptation of his newest book. He’ll never admit it but it’s all overwhelming and he’s so thankful for Sonny’s comfort and support. 

At the premiere of the film a little over a year later, Will clings onto Sonny’s hand the whole time, both of them looking a bit like deer in headlights as they walk down the red carpet. Will is surprisingly coherent and loquacious when talking to reporters, and takes every opportunity to make sure that both Sonny and Arianna (“I’m not missing your premiere, Daddy!”) are photographed just as much as he is. 

When they finally get home at two o’clock in the morning, high on happiness and pride but exhausted nonetheless, they collapse together on the bed, Will’s back against Sonny’s chest, Sonny arms wrapped around him completely. But Sonny is oddly quiet.

Will twists his neck around to look at Sonny. “You okay, baby?”

"Yeah. Just tired." But his voice betrays him. Will cocks his head. Sonny stares back guiltily. "Alright, fine. I’m just feeling a bit inadequate." Will’s eyebrows shoot up almost into his hairline. "You’re famous now! You should have a famous husband, not a lowly club owner."

"Well, now you know how I feel," Will jokes but then his eyes soften. "I’m not famous, anyway. My book is famous." After a beat, Will says, "How about this - neither of us is better than the other or more deserving of something than the other. We are we who we are and we love each other."

"That’s what I’ve been telling you for years," Sonny agrees.

Will’s not quite sure why it’s taken him so long to understand.


End file.
